Psalm 38 Reimagined

A psalm written by David in which he asks to be remembered.

Lord, I could not blame you for being frustrated with me, or even for having a rant, but please don’t.
Your words have hurt me deeply and your feedback has been bruising.
My body is weak because you have made your feelings clear, but it is my wrongdoings that have broken me.
My sense of shame engulfs me – I feel crushed by the weight of it.
I am scarred and bruised by my own senseless actions.
My head hangs with the pangs of disgrace and I cannot escape the tormenting regrets.
Condemnation is eating me up from the inside and my strength has gone.
I can no longer hold myself together – I am devastated. My heart is breaking, and I groan with the pain.

Boss, you know my hopes and where they are placed. You can distinguish my softly spoken pleas.
My heart throbs in fear, and I can no longer hold myself up or see what is in front of me.
I have been deserted by those who are dear to me – they fear contamination. Those who love me the most, keep their distance.
My rivals are determined to put an end to my threat. They plot to destroy all that I have built up. My defeat has become their obsession.

I turn a deaf ear to their menace and refuse to be drawn into their wrangling.
I make up my mind to shut my ears and to keep my mouth closed.
My focus is on being patient as I trust you to act, Lord. I need you to give me your solution, my Boss, my Creator.
I pleaded with you, “Don’t let my rivals revel in my collapse or celebrate my overthrow.”

My agony is continual, and I am close to keeling over.
I accept full responsibility for all my misdeeds – I am ashamed of all that I have done.
I have many abusive rivals who loathe me without justification.
Whenever I am kind-hearted, they retaliate with cruelty and challenge me for being sympathetic.
Do not desert me, my Lord. Draw close, my Creator and be my guardian.
Boss, please come and rescue me.